The World Spins Madly On

"In the world, ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer;

I have overcome the world."

John 16:33

Yes, I know that the title of this post is the name of a song by the Weepies. Makes sense because the title of my blog was based off of my iPod. The title of this post will make a lot more sense once you read the whole schpeel (however you spell that word).

This song makes me think of McKay Hansen. Not in a creepy way (don't worry, Whit) but the day McKay left for his mission was the day it dawned on me that life was moving on, whether I wanted it to or not. My guy friends were gone (pretty much the end of the world for me). I've thought a lot about this song in the not too distant past and I have come to the conclusion that the world in fact keeps going whether you are or not.

It's like when you're sitting in class listening to the professor lecture. Whether you're paying attention or not, he or she is going to keep talking. If you, like me, happen to space out for a grand total of thirty seconds, the last thing you heard was how there are saturated fats in animal meat and you're now trying to figure out how got on the subject of peanut butter (true story, by the way). Whether you're paying attention or not, the lecture will continue and if you aren't paying attention, you're going to be lost. (I did eventually figure out how we got on the subject of peanut butter but that is another story for another time.)

I feel like this has been my life as of recently. There have been moments where I understand exactly what's happening and where life is taking me. And then there are the times when I let my focus shift, just for a second, and I'm lost and left fumbling to try and figure out what the heck just happened. There have been many times in which I wish I could just take a moment to freeze time, evaluate all possible angles and consequences, make a well thought out decision, unfreeze time and then continue on my merry way. I would like to meet the person who figures out how to do that. Life will not wait for you. But that doesn't mean you have to take crazy experience all by your lonesome.

If there is anything I have learned from all of these crazy experiences it is that you can never go wrong when God is on your side. Yes, there will be trials and there will be times when you want to throw in the towel and head back home to live as a hermit for the rest of your life. But that won't cut it. Why settle for that when you can become something better? I'm learning that you won't see the blessings right away and you won't understand why things are happening right now. I still wonder why I deal with life altering illnesses and boys that no matter how hard you try to read them, you just won't understand. But there is a reason. That is my mantra: there is a reason. I may not know that reason for a month or a couple years or maybe even until I die but I trust that God would not put me through something if it wasn't what could help me grow most as a person. Job must have been one interesting guy....

Yes, according to strange laws of physics, the world will continue to spin madly on. But that doesn't mean I have to go mad in the process. :)

Dove Chocolate Wrappers

I have never been more excited to get chocolate wrappers in my life than I was this past Tuesday. Here's a little peek into the relationship that Spencer and I have: instead of sending each other gooey love notes or stuffed animals or other piddly stuff, we send each other Dove Chocolate wrappers. Not the chocolates, just the wrappers. Laugh all you want; I don't care. I think it's rather funny myself. I don't know what's funnier, though: that he sent them to me or that he ate that many, kept the wrappers and then sent them to me. My roommates think I'm really weird that I got excited to get Dove Chocolate wrappers but who cares? Do any of your friends send you chocolate wrappers? I don't think so.

What's also great about these is that they have the cheesiest one liners EVER. To name a few:

"Curl up and take a catnap."

"It's not only okay to different, it's fantastic!"

"Give a little love today."

"Be the first to hit the dance floor."

"Smile when you want to, cry when you need to, laugh whenever possible."

Okay, so who writes these and how much do they get paid because I want in. I could fill a book with a million of these and send them to Dove and be rich. The other great thing about these quotes is that they're called "Promise Messages". I think the person who writes the scripts for the Hallmark movies also writes the "Promise Messages" for Dove. I'm pretty sure Spencer sent these to me just to make me laugh. And they did make me laugh. A lot.

I think the best reaction I got however was from my roommate. I pulled them out and was unfolding them when she walked in and said, "Dang boy, send us the chocolate next time."

Reflection Time!

It's a new year! Hooray. That's been kind of the schtick. I don't know what to make of the new year. Should I be happy? I am. But not because it's a new year. These past few months, even weeks, have been life altering. I look at the person I was four months ago, even two months ago, and I've seen where I've come since then.

First, I have grown intellectually. I think that is pretty much a given when you go to college. You'd have to spend twice the effort to not learn something which, all in all, would be a waste of time and money. Part of me feels like I haven't learned much but then I get into these situations where I'm just spouting off information like there's no tomorrow. I can sit down with you now and talk about the deeply rooted philosophies surrounding the founding of this country and constitution. I can talk to you about how a child develops and the stages of death. But these things aren't everyday topics. I just happen to stumble upon them every once and a while.

Secondly, the way I interact with people has grown. I feel like I've entered that realm where I talk to older people on more of a planar level. When I was in high school (six months ago?!?) I felt like there was this huge thick wall that divided me from older people. They were older and therefore had to be looked up to. But now I feel as though the only thing that separates me from them is a nice garden fence. They are now my friends and the people who I could carry on conversations with for a while. I also feel like the way I interact with my friends has grown. It's not a stupid, superficial relationship anymore. These are actual people who can be intelligent and can be rational about things. That is definitely something I do not miss about high school.

Thirdly, I have grown emotionally. Spencer Meredith is one of the best things that has ever happen to me. And I mean that seriously. If you ever want to mature fast, get into a relationship. Before Spencer, I had never really felt what it was like to care for someone. I care about my family and would do anything for them but they're my family. It's a given. I love my friends and would do anything for them. But they're my friends and they already mean as much as my family to me. Spencer really made me care for someone outside of myself in a way I never thought I would. There was just something about this relationship that was so different than all the rest. Perhaps it was the time, effort and emotion put into it. But mostly I think it was the potential that it had and still has. I seriously can't believe sometimes the depth of our relationship. Neither of us was looking for it. Neither of us was trying to develop it. It just kind of happened on it's own. And now that Spencer is on his mission (Ft Lauderdale, Florida Hatian-Creole speaking) I really hope it's there when he gets back. He's a great guy and I miss him terribly. (And for those of you wondering, I did "break up" with him. We thought it would be best if he went into the field without a girlfriend and he didn't think it was fair to make me wait for him. It hurt terribly to end a good thing but we're both hoping and praying that we'll get a second chance after his mission. :) )

Fourthly, I have grown spiritually. I love attending a church school. I love being able to walk around campus and see 30,000 other people dressed like me. I haven't looked at anyone in a long time and thought "Skank." I love going to class and starting with a prayer or an opening song. It is so much easier to concentrate on school when your mind isn't constantly filled with vulgar words or unclean thoughts. I love being about to throw out words like "ward" "elders quorum" and "temple recommend" and people know exactly what I'm talking about. I love attending BYU. I have been blessed with the best roommates and Family Home Evening Brothers. They are some of the best people I've ever known and I feel extremely blessed to know them. Through my experiences this past semester, I have seen my testimony grow in ways that it wouldn't have grown at any other place. My gratitude for my parents has sky rocketed. I really appreciate everything they have done for me and everything they have taught me. My faith in my Father in Heaven has grown. There are so many things I owe to Him and He never lets me down. It's not always easy to do what He asks but there is always a reason and always love behind His motives.

This semester has not been easy. There are things that I need to correct for this semester (specifically staying out until two in the morning....) and they are being corrected. Heavenly Father has allowed me to grow and make mistakes and experience things that I needed to experience. And to be honest I couldn't ask for anything more. :)

So with this new year, I welcome a new semester to learn, grow, make new friends, keep some old ones and move forward with my life.