It's a new year! Hooray. That's been kind of the schtick. I don't know what to make of the new year. Should I be happy? I am. But not because it's a new year. These past few months, even weeks, have been life altering. I look at the person I was four months ago, even two months ago, and I've seen where I've come since then.
First, I have grown intellectually. I think that is pretty much a given when you go to college. You'd have to spend twice the effort to not learn something which, all in all, would be a waste of time and money. Part of me feels like I haven't learned much but then I get into these situations where I'm just spouting off information like there's no tomorrow. I can sit down with you now and talk about the deeply rooted philosophies surrounding the founding of this country and constitution. I can talk to you about how a child develops and the stages of death. But these things aren't everyday topics. I just happen to stumble upon them every once and a while.
Secondly, the way I interact with people has grown. I feel like I've entered that realm where I talk to older people on more of a planar level. When I was in high school (six months ago?!?) I felt like there was this huge thick wall that divided me from older people. They were older and therefore had to be looked up to. But now I feel as though the only thing that separates me from them is a nice garden fence. They are now my friends and the people who I could carry on conversations with for a while. I also feel like the way I interact with my friends has grown. It's not a stupid, superficial relationship anymore. These are actual people who can be intelligent and can be rational about things. That is definitely something I do not miss about high school.
Thirdly, I have grown emotionally. Spencer Meredith is one of the best things that has ever happen to me. And I mean that seriously. If you ever want to mature fast, get into a relationship. Before Spencer, I had never really felt what it was like to care for someone. I care about my family and would do anything for them but they're my family. It's a given. I love my friends and would do anything for them. But they're my friends and they already mean as much as my family to me. Spencer really made me care for someone outside of myself in a way I never thought I would. There was just something about this relationship that was so different than all the rest. Perhaps it was the time, effort and emotion put into it. But mostly I think it was the potential that it had and still has. I seriously can't believe sometimes the depth of our relationship. Neither of us was looking for it. Neither of us was trying to develop it. It just kind of happened on it's own. And now that Spencer is on his mission (Ft Lauderdale, Florida Hatian-Creole speaking) I really hope it's there when he gets back. He's a great guy and I miss him terribly. (And for those of you wondering, I did "break up" with him. We thought it would be best if he went into the field without a girlfriend and he didn't think it was fair to make me wait for him. It hurt terribly to end a good thing but we're both hoping and praying that we'll get a second chance after his mission. :) )
Fourthly, I have grown spiritually. I love attending a church school. I love being able to walk around campus and see 30,000 other people dressed like me. I haven't looked at anyone in a long time and thought "Skank." I love going to class and starting with a prayer or an opening song. It is so much easier to concentrate on school when your mind isn't constantly filled with vulgar words or unclean thoughts. I love being about to throw out words like "ward" "elders quorum" and "temple recommend" and people know exactly what I'm talking about. I love attending BYU. I have been blessed with the best roommates and Family Home Evening Brothers. They are some of the best people I've ever known and I feel extremely blessed to know them. Through my experiences this past semester, I have seen my testimony grow in ways that it wouldn't have grown at any other place. My gratitude for my parents has sky rocketed. I really appreciate everything they have done for me and everything they have taught me. My faith in my Father in Heaven has grown. There are so many things I owe to Him and He never lets me down. It's not always easy to do what He asks but there is always a reason and always love behind His motives.
This semester has not been easy. There are things that I need to correct for this semester (specifically staying out until two in the morning....) and they are being corrected. Heavenly Father has allowed me to grow and make mistakes and experience things that I needed to experience. And to be honest I couldn't ask for anything more. :)
So with this new year, I welcome a new semester to learn, grow, make new friends, keep some old ones and move forward with my life.
