California. It has been my home for the past 18 and (almost) a half years. As I sat up and looked out the car window, I saw the golden hills, the blue-grey of the delta as the sun rose and the frigid marine layer creeping in only to be caught in the mid day sun. I was leaving my California for a new home. I must admit that this past week has been weird with packing up and what not. Plus I, since Saturday, started sleeping (ha! an alliteration) in the guest room of my house in order to pack up the rest of my stuff. Nothing is more humbling than being a guest in your own house. Then I realized this is how it’s going to be from now on. I’m only going to be coming back to California to visit. I won’t say never, but there is a really good chance that I may never live in California again. There will definitely be things about California that I won’t miss. For example: all the pot. And profanity. Thankfully, BYU has elevated(I was originally going to put “high” instead of elevated but I changed it for reasons you might guess.) standards for its students to live by. Goodbye, pot and profanity. However, I will definitely miss all the people who made California my home. I hung out with some of my friends Tuesday night and it was really hard to say goodbye to them. I didn’t want to say goodbye. Then, when I got back to my house and started thinking about everything, a thought entered my mind, “Am I doing the right thing? Is BYU where I’m really suppose to be?” That was followed up by the thought, “Well it’s too late now. You’re tuition and housing are paid and everything is packed and your roommates are counting on you, dummy.” It was scary to sit there and really wonder if I was really doing the right thing. I said a little prayer in my heart right there saying, “Heavenly Father, I’m scared. Help me please.” Then I pulled out my scriptures and started reading in the 58th Chapter of Alma. Up to this point Heleman was recounting the war that he has fought in the past few years. He lost a lot of men and there were very few of them left. He writes, “Therefore we did pour out our souls in prayer to God that he would strengthen us and deliver us out of the hands of our enemies, yea and also give us strength… Yea and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea insomuch that he did speak peace to our souls and did grant unto us great faith… And we did take courage with our small force… and we were fixed in our minds with a determined resolution to conquer our enemies.” This was me. I was a small force against a big enemy: doubt. I felt like I was at the door to the rest of the world and it seemed insurmountable. How was little ol’ Afton going to survive life, if even the first semester? But Heleman taught me to have faith that God would deliver me from my enemies. And He will if I trust Him. So as I start this new chapter of my life I’m taking the Nephite approach. I am fixed in my mind with a determined resolution to succeed.
You can do it!!!!
ReplyDeleteHere are a few pointers;
Too bad we won't be there to hang out with you but Mom and Dad will be there, you'll have a place to go for a nice dinner on Sundays after church :-)
Have fun at BYU and give aunt Karen a hug from me.
Decorate your room with a picture of me. he he he
Make sure you get a Jamba Juice every once in a while.
Go to the dollar theater,no where else you'll find such a deal.
Get a job at the Cannon center cafeteria, it is a fun place to work at.
Hike the Y
Take a ballroom class
Sign up for the volunteer program, it is an awesome experience.
and last but not least..... A lot of people watching my girl, it will bring pure happiness to your soul :-)
Love ya!!!